More Satire via The Blog of H. Jester Fieldstone
The most fun anyone has ever had reading a blog!
(Many people have said this.)
When Did Kindness Become a Liberal Conspiracy?
Civilization was not built because everyone became better at insulting strangers. Communities did not flourish because the elderly were mocked, the poor were blamed, immigrants were demonized, minorities were treated as suspicious, and political opponents were regarded as enemies.
Societies work because people cooperate.
Minorities Should Not Fight Alone
Minorities should never be abandoned to fight society’s injustices alone, because when only the vulnerable defend democracy, democracy itself becomes vulnerable.
MAGA Support for Donald Trump
I have friends who live here.
They are sick tired of Trump. They won’t mourn him when he’s gone. But they are also certain they will never vote Democrat—not because Trump’s behavior doesn’t bother them, but because the alternative has been rendered unthinkable.
Is Donald Trump the Subject of the Book—or Are We?
Donald Trump may be the traveler, but The Extraordinary Voyages asks a more uncomfortable question: what do his strange kingdoms reveal about us?
Is Trump A Man of the People?
Cultural identification is powerful because it turns class politics upside down.
The wealthy politician is no longer the elite.
The librarian is.
The billionaire donor is merely a patriot with excellent liquidity.
The federal scientist, meanwhile, is part of the shadow government because he used a chart.
Trump Misunderstands the Bond Market
Donald Trump has spent decades telling Americans that he is a brilliant businessman.
Then somebody asked him about the bond market.
Suddenly, we needed the Marines.
Trump and The Dark Triad
When narcissism, manipulation, and callousness walk into government together, the most important question isn’t whether they satisfy a diagnostic checklist.
It’s whether anybody in the room still has the courage to say:
“Mr. President, you’re wrong.”
Trump Is In Love with Kim Jong Un
America’s longtime allies must continually prove their value. America’s adversaries need only flatter Donald Trump.
South Korea stood with America for generations.
Kim Jong Un wrote Trump some beautiful letters.
Guess who gets the flowers?
TNT at the Pentagon
Pete Hegseth may believe the Pentagon needed more testosterone.
What America actually needs is considerably harder to manufacture:
judgment.
Operation Chicken Surprise
The man who projects himself as Churchill, Patton and Rambo rolled into one was apparently spirited across an airport in the same sort of vehicle normally associated with chicken dinners and tiny bottles of water.
Strait of Hormuz
The international system the United States helped construct after World War II specifically rejects acquiring another country’s territory through force.
Article 2 of the United Nations Charter prohibits threats or force against another state’s territorial integrity, and subsequent UN principles explicitly reject territorial acquisition resulting from force.
Trump Discovers the Emergency Election Button
American elections are deliberately decentralized. Presidents are participants in the political system, not referees empowered to rewrite the rules whenever defeat looks inconvenient.
The War of the Ever-Changing Reason
The United States entered the war with Iran in February, and Trump initially explained that Iran was about to attack American forces.
There was one small inconvenience: administration officials reportedly told congressional staff that U.S. intelligence showed no indication Iran planned to attack American forces first.
Thank You for Your Service
Patriotism is not measured by the size of the flag behind the podium.
Sometimes it is measured by whether anyone bothered to ask if the sailor underneath it needs to come home and the overall support that is provided.
Not Nearly Long Enough
The simplest military principle should be this:
Before demanding sacrifice from sailors, try demonstrating a little concern for the sailors doing the sacrificing.
Make America Guess Again
For generations, America operated under the quaint assumption that science was useful.
Donald Trump has apparently identified the problem.
Too much science.
The Golden Rule
A society ultimately reveals its character not by how loudly it celebrates winners, but by how it treats people who are vulnerable, unpopular, different, frightened, or temporarily defeated.
Kindness is not weakness.
You Shall Never Admit Defeat
MAGA can survive scandal, contradiction, incompetence, failed promises and Donald Trump explaining almost anything.
What it cannot comfortably survive is humiliation.
Trump, The Hamster Wheel and The Human Printer
Trump has spent decades publicly proclaiming himself smarter, richer, stronger, more successful, more popular, more historically important, and generally more magnificent than the evidence occasionally permits. Criticism rarely seems to produce introspection.
Why?
Trump Discovers Iran Does Not Respond to Insults
Understanding how the Iranian regime thinks requires intelligence work, historical knowledge, cultural expertise and the uncomfortable willingness to consider that your enemy may not behave according to your preferred television narrative.
The Reflecting Pool Is Doing Its Job
In Trump world, correcting the mistake is the mistake.
And so Washington’s Reflecting Pool has finally accomplished something magnificent.
It reflects perfectly.
Jeanine Pirro’s Humiliation
Pirro’s humiliation is therefore complete. She demeaned her office by helping turn a failed paint job into a criminal morality play.
Then, when the facts became too large to conceal, she was scolded by the very man whose approval made the fiasco possible.
Why Is MAGA Always So Mad?
Trump stands at the center, selling rage as courage, resentment as patriotism, and hypocrisy as proof that the other side must be destroyed before anyone notices the house is on fire.
Saudi Arabia Asks Do We Have a Deal?
Once countries conclude that America’s word is good only until the next social media post by Donald Trump, they begin making other arrangements.
Trump’s Three-Front Tariff War
The courts ask, “What authority do you have?” Consumers ask, “Why is everything more expensive?” Allies ask, “What did we do this time?”
And Trump answers all three with the same elegant doctrine: because I said so.
Are We Winning Yet
Good morning! Donald Trump may be preparing to announce Reliberation Day, because the first Liberation Day failed to liberate Americans from high prices, unstable markets, dwindling export customers or the need for another round of tariffs wearing a different legal costume.
The AI Cloud Has Discovered the Hardware Store
There are moments in American life when the soaring poetry of technological ambition meets the humiliating reality of infrastructure, and a nation built on slogans is forced to ask whether anyone remembered to order the parts.
This is one of those moments.
Tic Tac Diplomacy Comes to NATO
Trump announced that he was number one on Tic Tac, a claim that raised questions. Is Tic Tac a social media platform? A breath mint? A cabinet-level agency? A new branch of government? In Trump’s America, anything is possible.
By Friday, Commerce may be regulating spearmint influencers.
America Turns 250
America is turning 250, and naturally Donald Trump has found a way to make the Declaration of Independence feel like it needs a security detail, a merchandise table, and possibly a non-disclosure agreement.
Trump’s Mail-In Ballot Fraud Claim
A democracy should welcome election security. It should also reject fear-based claims that are not grounded in facts. The right standard is not whether Donald Trump dislikes mail-in ballots. The right standard is whether there is credible evidence that mail-in ballots produce widespread fraud. There is not.
The Great Congressional Hostage Situation
The president has now effectively taken Congress hostage and demanded a ransom no democracy should ever pay. Trump has declared that no one leaves until he gets his precious SAVE America Act.
The Art of the Kneel
The Trump doctrine in its purest form: start a fire, pose as the firefighter, sell commemorative hoses, then bill the homeowners.
The Art of the Kneel