More Satire via The Blog of H. Jester Fieldstone
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MAGA Support for Donald Trump
I have friends who live here.
They are sick tired of Trump. They won’t mourn him when he’s gone. But they are also certain they will never vote Democrat—not because Trump’s behavior doesn’t bother them, but because the alternative has been rendered unthinkable.
The $200 Billion “Little Excursion”
Somewhere in Washington, a spreadsheet quietly updates itself to reflect the cost of this “little excursion,” adding another few billion dollars while no one is looking.
The truly remarkable feature of this moment is not the cost itself, but the casual tone in which it is discussed.
Two hundred billion dollars.
Skeletal Intuition
There are many ways to run a war.
There is the traditional model—briefings, intelligence, strategy, alliances, logistics, maps with arrows, people who have read books.
And then there is the Trump model.
This one involves vibes.
Operation Epic Fury (Or, The Little Excursion)
This, apparently, is the official branding for Donald Trump’s latest international adventure: a war he previously described, with his usual historical precision, as “a little excursion.”
Emperor Trump Demands Surrender
It takes a rare mind to look at the tangled geopolitics of the Middle East and conclude that the solution is simply shouting “you lose” at a country of ninety million people.
Historians will study this moment carefully.
The Sound of One Tough Guy Not Tweeting
Once upon a time, Vance was supposed to be the intellectual ballast. He was the nationalist realist, the man who would guard the gates against neocon nostalgia. He was cast as a populist Dick Cheney in reverse: not the architect of invasion, but the firewall against it.
Day 1461 of the Three-Day War
We are now on Day 1461 of Vladimir Putin’s three-day war.
Three days. It is worth repeating.
That was the Russian swagger. That was the muscle-flex. Kyiv would fold. Ukraine would faint. Tanks would roll through Ukraine like a victory parade. Western analysts — intoxicated by years of recycled propaganda about Russian might — nodded gravely and agreed.
Trump Tariffs and the Magical Thinking of Economic Nationalism
In the real world, trade policy is a delicate matter involving supply chains, comparative advantages, development strategy, long-term investment, and the tedious complexity of global interconnection.
In Trump’s world, tariffs are a vending machine for patriotism.
Insert coin. Receive factory.
Trump Was Never the Point
Trump was never the real engine that created MAGA.
He was the one who provided cover and permission to reveal the MAGA sickness of our society.
The Spell of Trump Has Been Broken
In ancient fables, there is always a sorcerer who believes the kingdom trembles because of his power, when in fact it trembles because no one has yet dared to laugh. The enchantment holds not by magic, but by obedience. And once a single peasant snickers, the whole illusion collapses like stage smoke.
Such appears to be the present condition of Washington under Donald Trump.
Bondi, The Face of the Cover-Up
Ah yes. Nothing says “nothing to see here” quite like a redacted email about your relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.
A Threat To Western Civilization
History will record that Rome fell, empires collapsed, and somewhere in Florida a former president warned that Beijing’s first act of Canadian domination would be to outlaw hockey and the Stanley Cup.
The Banality of Buffoonery
We have reached a point where the most remarkable thing about high office is not corruption, but incompetence wrapped in arrogance.
The buffoon does not fear exposure, because exposure changes nothing.
Superbowl 60
The NFL did not regulate football because it hates competition. It regulated football so competition could exist at all. America once did the same with capitalism—and it worked. Then we handed the rulebook to the owners, fired the referees, and told the players to be grateful.
What Just Happened
Once the results came in, Trump demonstrated admirable consistency by distancing himself from the race he had discovered earlier that same day. The defeat, you see, was not national, ideological, or symbolic.
It was merely “local.” Much like inflation, crime statistics, and court rulings, elections only count when they flatter him.
Governance as Performance Art
The Cabinet Room has never looked better. The economy has never been stronger. Crime has never been lower. Borders have never been tighter. Wars have been snuffed like birthday candles.
Drug prices have fallen by five, six, seven, eight hundred percent—depending on which arithmetic universe one happens to occupy.
Melania, An American Tragedy in One Act
Donald Trump hates immigrants. This is not a controversial statement; it is a brand pillar. It has been chanted, legislated and, televised. It has been made into signs that state “Mass Deportations Now”, and embroidered onto red hats.
Now, having spent years warning the nation that immigrants are a menace to civilization—he now wishes us to gather politely in darkened theaters to watch a loving cinematic portrait of one.
NATO is Not the United States Plus 31
For as every sensible alliance knows: a union that survives only so long as its loudest member remains in a good mood is not a union at all—it is a performance.
And performances, however grand, have a way of ending abruptly when the star storms offstage.
Council Held by the House of Tesla
The Lords of Wall Street assembled—by telephone rather than torchlight—to hear from the House of Tesla, whose founder and High Visionary, Elon of Musk, addressed them with the calm confidence of a man explaining why gravity is optional if one believes hard enough.
Modern USA – The Republic of Unreality
History may not have a reset button, but reality does.
Reality is real and it keeps refreshing.
In the end, the only thing louder than a misplaced and lying official narrative may be the video evidence saying otherwise.
Do You Believe Your Own Eyes
The greatest insult is not violence; it is the instruction to stop believing our own eyes.
We are told not to believe ourselves. We are told that a holstered gun is intended to massacre large numbers of ICE agents, that a phone is provocation, that presence is guilt.
Remembering Liberty While Misplacing It
Take the recent American tragedy whereby a man may lose his life and then, as a courtesy, be relieved of his good name as well.
This is very efficient.
We must give credit where credit is due and give credit to Donald Trump, Kristi Noem, Stephen Miller, and Bovino who have decided that this killing was completely justified even before any investigation.
The Clinton Gambit
The House Oversight Committee, chaired by James Comer, had expected a familiar script. Issue subpoena. Watch the Clintons squirm. Extract headlines. Run victory laps on cable news. Instead, the Clintons looked at the subpoena, looked back at Congress, and effectively said: you don’t have the pieces you think you have.
The Committee on Deck Paint While the Ship Goes Down
The Federal Government forming before us does not feed on good governance and making proper decisions for the people.
It feeds on fear.
On grievance.
On lies.
On rage.
It drains the ship while calling itself salvation.
A Constitutional Federal Republic
ICE, the agency that has apparently decided judges are more of a suggestion than a requirement.
A secret memo argues that agents may enter homes without judicial warrants, using documents signed by the agency itself.
An Account of a Certain Orange Gentleman Who Misplaced an Empire
We learn that empires are not always conquered by enemies, nor undone by catastrophe. Some are misplaced. This one may simply be set aside by a man who mistakes the sound of his voice for the movement of the world.
And So the Billionaires Laughed
Off-script moments can reveal the governing philosophy in its purest form.
Troops in cities? Effective.
Consent? Slow.
Law? Optional.
Immigration? A matter of removing whole categories of people quickly and loudly, because nuance does not poll well in donor lounges.
What Does America Stand For?
Once upon a time, America stood for limited government, the rule of law, a strong but restrained defense, and alliances built on trust rather than invoices.
This was not nostalgia; it was policy. These ideas were so central that conservatives once carved them into marble, quoted them reverently, and accused everyone else of insufficient devotion to them.
A Modest Appreciation of the Author We Swore We Didn’t Need
So here we are, clutching Orwell again like a passport, wondering how a man armed with nothing but a battered typewriter managed to describe us so precisely. The answer is simple and uncomfortable: he paid attention.
And he assumed we would too.
First Greenland Then The Moon
Trump’s letter to Norway’s prime minister reads less like diplomacy than a toddler’s note to the playground supervisor: I was nice. You didn’t clap. Now I will take your toys.
In this worldview, restraint is not a principle but a courtesy, extended only when properly rewarded. The absence of a medal voids the warranty on civilization.